This happened once before. I started dating her on November 5th 2023, and then we broke up on April 8th 2024. When I got with her, I wasn't quite over my ex Sydney. When I broke up with her, I had pretty much written Sydney off. Now, I am back to not being over Sydney.
I do like Shelby, very much so.
At this moment in time, I don't think I'm gonna blow it. I do really think I want to be with her, despite what I said in my first paragraph. I don't know. Sydney really changed me. I really haven't been at peace since. It still feels like there is so much to unpack. I struggle to be honest with myself, and therefore, others.
It makes me feel awful.
Awful in the sense that I'm a fundamentally bad person
As of now, I feel happy with where I am, but I know myself too well, and I know that feeling of content won't last. I'll start longing for something more, something different, or, worst of all, longing for Sydney. The one I thought was for me.
It all feels so insignificant when I think about where my life is presently.
I'm gonna be a choir director????
walking past the band room really, REALLY made me reconsider....
why tf can't I just do both? fr?
I do feel happier than I've felt in a very long time
I think I'm done thinking. for now. maybe later I'll think some more.
Fuck I hope I don't hurt anyone this time